A Year Ago Today...

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
- John Lennon

I couldn't have been no more than a block away from home when Ann called me on my cell phone.

"You better come home. My water broke."

Ignoring all traffic laws, I made a u-turn and headed back home. A lot of calls were made to friends, family, soon-to-be grandparents and uncles and great-uncles. I packed up three--film, digital, and video--cameras to take into the delivery room. Don't ask me how I did it.

And at the time of this post, I became a father for the first time in my life. And what an amazing experience it was.

Holding Anthony in my arms for the first time after seeing his little heart beat on an ultrasound was just incredible.

He stared at me. I cried. He grabbed my fingers. I cried.

I went home and cried more. I spent as much time at the hospital as I could to take care of him and Ann.

And today, I punch the clock at the end of the day just to be with him. And I'll still cry on occasion when I'm feeding him.

Happy Birthday, Anthony. Daddy loves you!

End It Already

Okay, time to bring the riddle to a conclusion.

Did you figure it out between then and now? Well, here we go...

Until this sentence, yesterday's post and today's post did not have the letter S in them.

That's right...go ahead and read them again. No S.

That said...

I've got a friggin' nail in my tire! I spent almost $500 for a set of tires in January and now this? Bah. The good thing is that Discount Tire Center, where I got them, said they'd repair it for free. That's cool. I mean, I could do it myself but if they are offering, might as well let them get dirty.

At least they weren't slashed.

What? A Kind of Riddle...

I want to you pay attention to the entry for today. Let me know if you find anything different about it by leaving a comment.

Clue: I have not hidden anything.

Another clue: Hamburger.

And other: Hot dog.

More: Baby, MP3, phone, frame, calendar, death, DVD, and pickle.

Figure it out yet? No?

Good. I will tell you tomorrow.

Hint: Figuring it out won't be that difficult if you really think about it...

It's Official!

Ten minutes and $9.99 later, I have a domain name.

Why the name?

1. I think it pretty much describes my sense of humor.
2. It's a line from Depeche Mode's song "Blaspehmous Rumours."
3. I am a big Depeche Mode fan.
4. While the lyrics are belittling God, I make no claims to be God nor do I possess any of his superpowers.

More later...?

We're Your Best Friends...

...The Backyardigans!

Now can someone please give me a pistol?

These annoying little turds come on my TV screen every Saturday, singing about their fabricated adventures through their--wait for it--backyard. Hence the name. Isn't that farking clever?

While Anthony sits and thoroughly enjoys these colorful little twits, I personally cannot stand them. I detest them. I wish death upon them. I dare you to try and watch them some Saturday morning on CBS. Just have the remote handy.

Right now they think they are pirates and keep saying, "ARGH! ARGH! ARGH ARGH ARGH!" They sang "The Drunken Sailor" with alternative lyrics.

But despite my efforts to knock them off one by one, there are some who love them. But hey, whatever floats your retarded boat.

Oh, I'm in the process of buying a domain name for my blog. Watch for it.

This Is Only A Test

I've been tinkering around with the web journal offered at Bravenet. So far it looks pretty good. If you want to check out how things are going, click here.

If I can get it to do what I want, then chances are I'll move my blog over to that address.

The testing continues...

What?

Before you get mad at someone for doing something stupid, just remember that without stupidity genius cannot exist. And in some cases even I can be a genius.

Remember my post from last night? Well, it happened again.

Landlord uses 40 cans of roach fumigate

Now go put on your mortarboard, Pointdexter.

Ya No Puede Caminar...

I'm laughing. No really, I am.

I was watching KTLA's News @ 10 right now and there was a story about a woman in my city of Long Beach who set off 18 bug bombs in her 400 sq. ft. apartment. I've looked online for a link to this story but there aren't any just yet.

But you can guess why I'm laughing, right? C'mon, now - 18 bug bombs in a 400 sq. ft. apartment? You can guess what happened, right? The report stated that either a pilot light or, and this seems more likely, one of the many religious candles that were seen on the floor in a pan of water ignited the bombs.

KA-BOOM!



The woman refused to say anything to reporters other than that she "hated roaches."

Can you imagine that? One of those things is enough for a decent-sized house but 18 in an apartment? Christ! You must be really stupid, ignorant, retarded or in this lady's case, really hate bugs to use that many. She's lucky she didn't blow herself up while exiting the apartment.

So for that, this lady truly deserves today's Super Milk Chan Award:

Holy Crap...

Remember a few posts ago when I said I might customize my blog a bit? I tried to in FrontPage and soon realized why I gave up building webpages in the first place.

Jesus, that stuff's confusing as all hell. So you're stuck with this one for a while until I figure something out...which will probably be never. But in all fairness, my sidebar does have some customization.

I took a night off from the GT4 marathon to watch my brother's brief appearance on "American Dreams." Did you see him? If you sneezed, you probably didn't. He only had a few lines and his scene actually caught me by surprise. I taped it and had to rewind the VHS a few times to fully digest it.

And yes, I did say VHS. I don't have a TIVO as this is the first time in, literally, a few years that I've recorded anything from the TV. As such, I don't see the point in paying a subscription fee for something I'll hardly ever use. As it was, I had to record over my BodyBow instructional video. I have no idea where--and if--I have any blank VHS tapes around.

Well, it's off to bed now. Ozzie's snoring his cat-ass off behind me. He'll find his way into the bed when I head to the bedroom in a few minutes.

I hope he brushed his teeth. Man, he's got some breath...!

Want My Job?

No, I'm not quitting or anything. This'll just give you an idea of how I spend 8 hours a day at the office.

I get lots of proofs to proofread and fax to clients/sales reps.

I have a stack of articles to write with subjects ranging from mosquito abatement, European windows, acoustic ceiling removal, and under-deck roofing systems.

Sounds like fun, huh?

Oh, and tonight my brother makes his debut on "American Dreams" at 8pm on NBC. See post from a few days ago for a screencap of his short role.

Gotta go eat breakfast and then trudge to work.

Another summary

Here's some current happenings in a nutshell:

Weight Loss: It continues to go well, despite the fact we are not exercising as much. The Ab Lounge has been temporarily transformed into a bed for the cat as well as a resting place for clothes. I'm still 10 lbs. lighter than when I started, eating just about anything I want but in lesser quantities, and drinking lots of liquids. Remember, it's not a diet; it's a lifestyle. If you are interested in losing some weight, Dottie's Weight Loss Zone has some incredbile nutritional information as well as inspiration.

Gran Turismo 4: I just finished up the I-B license tests and completed the entire Beginner Courses. All of the I-B Driving Missions have also been met. Completion is at 20.5% @ 405 days. Cash is over $450,000 and I've got 34 cars in my garage. The game is still fun - and I'm just beginning! The sleepless nights continue.

Random Photoshops blog: I've pretty much given up on it. I do, however, have another idea for a blog. Link will be posted when I get it going. I'm also considering doing some customizing to my template to make this place a little more personal. A nice example can be seen at LadyGypsy.net, a nifty little blog I came across recently. She's pretty funny, too.

And c'mon...is this not the most handsome kid you've ever seen?



That's my boy!

Gotta run. My wireless PS2 controller awaits.

For the Love of Samoas

In case you hadn't noticed, it's Girl Scout cookie time again. And while I'm all for handing over four bucks for a box of these delicious treats, there's something about them that bugs me.

Well, not about the cookies. But about the selling techniques.

I've already purchased a few boxes of Samoas from the pig-tailed pixies that were soliciting their goods outside grocery stores, retail establishments, and even at the swap meet. But here's what bothered me.

Each time I was asked to buy some, I told the girls I had already bought some from a co-worker and elsewhere. As soon as they could say "thank you," their mothers intervene with attempts to make me purchase more.

So here's an open letter to those moms:

Look here, Soccer Mom Sally. I already bought some from you and from a co-worker and at other places. Be glad I'm buying any at all as I'm trying to avoid junk food from now on. Now go back and complain to your fellow housewives about how you dislike Judy's bunco skills. And it looks like you could lay off the Do-Si-Dos yourself.

My God. Be glad I spent $4 on a box of cookies in general.

Oh yeah. A screencap of my brother's "American Dreams" episode has already been posted online. You gotta love the internet. You can see it here. He's the news reporter holding the microphone.

More posts later. I'm on fire.

Dead Singer's Society

Ann and the kid met me for lunch today. We went to Sonic in Anaheim, which is the only one in the area that I know of. The rest are all in California cities that frequently show up on “COPS.”

At any rate, it was unusually quiet there today. By that I mean there was no music coming through the speakers as it normally does. Almost too quiet.

Once we got our order the music was turned on. I was surprised to hear Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” as Dick Dale’s surf tunes are what usually come spewing from the speakers.

That song was followed by Big Country’s “In A Big Country.” Curious, I thought. Two 80’s songs, two dead lead singers. What could be next? My curiosity piqued. I told Ann that it would be funny if some INXS song was next. Because, you know, since Michael Hutchence offed himself in a sad way looking for that new sensation…

It was an 80’s song, but Pat Benatar’s “We Belong.” Bah, the trifecta was not complete.

Or was it?

While chomping through my burger, I heard a familiar beat begin. It was, no shit, “Devil Inside” by INXS. We laughed. I couldn’t think of any more dead singers from the 80’s so I guess it was endgame at this point.

The Motels’ “Only the Lonely” was up next. A good tune nonetheless.

Then it happened. Again.

To wrap things up, Oingo Boingo’s “Dead Man’s Party” came on. A good end to what was a strange playlist.

When we heard Musical Youth’s “Pass the Dutchie” we knew it was time to grab our Cherry Limeaids and go.

So a head's up goes out to Martha Davis and Pat Benetar: Watch your back, ladies.