When I Was Young...

I grew up in the 70s. For you young ones, that means that we didn't have cable TV, we rode our bikes without helmets, and only the rich could afford color TVs with remote controls. Well, I take that back--the adults did have remotes, and they were us. And if we didn't change it to "Bowling for Dollars" when Dad asked us to, we felt it.

But you know what else? We survived. We grew up, got jobs, had families.

All of this segues so beautifully to what I'm trying to get at. When I was young, kids didn't have ADD, ADHD, or whatever the hell doctors call it. We just did what we did--act as kids--and got our asses beat when we acted up. It seemed to work very well. We learned and we never made the same mistake again. Forget "time outs"; our parents and even school principals had [ping pong] paddles. With holes drilled in them for maximum stinging power. I kid you not.

And you know what else-else? Kids are hyperactive by nature. My own son, all of 14 months, is into everything these days. He doesn't stop walking/pacing, always has something in his hands, and is always chatting to himself. Does he have ADD? Should I have his head examined? No, for Chrissakes--he's being a kid!

Look, I'm not trying to be Dr. Brackett here, but c'mon. If you grew up in the same time you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you really think about it, every kid on the planet suffers from Attention Deficit ("Look! A balloon!") Hyperactivity Disorder ("Anthony, put that down!").

Honestly, I think it's a bunch of crap; crap that can be solved with a little discipline.

Now where's my remote..?

Oh, and in case you didn't hear, we had an earthquake today. It's a shocker, I know, being in California and all. But it was so minor I didn't even flinch. I was microwaving my lunch at the time it hit. The floor rumbled, I heard the walls shake a bit...and then every woman in the office started yelling, "We're having an earthquake!" Out of the corner of my eye I saw a bunch of them go running past the breakroom in hysterics. By the time I looked up *DING* my food was ready.

I grabbed it, calmly walked back to my office, and went back to work. There's really nothing more you can do than ride it out so there's no need for excitement.

That's why I prefer them to any other kind of natural disaster. Sure, we don't know when they'll hit, but chances are the only damage we'll suffer is a broken jar of Peter Pan Peanut Butter or something like that.

And I can live with that.